ERGONOMICON

[reblog]

[ALLIGATOR ONEFIFTY - BEARD]

“I dunno, James Franco?”

“James Franco?”

“I guess?”

“In no way whatsoever do I look like James Franco.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Maybe not.”

“But he’s kinda cute.”

“You’re serious?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Never took you for a Franco fan.”

“I’m wouldn’t say I’m a fan.”

“Well who else?”

“Who else what?”

“Who else do you like?”

“I dunno.”

“Right, like you don’t know.”

“Gerard Butler?”

“Gerard Butler?  Really?”

“I dunno, maybe.”

“But he looks like a rapist.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“Well, when he smiles he does.”

“I guess.”

“I bet you like Brad Pitt.”

“Ehh.”

“I thought all girls liked Brad Pitt.”

“He just looks dirty a lot.”

“That’s just the parts he plays.”

“Not when he’s got a beard.”

“Oh so no facial hair.”

“I dunno.  I guess not.”

“So what about Christian Bale? He’s got a crazy beard.”

“Um, so? He’s Batman.”

“Beardman.”

“Haha. Beardman. I’m drunk.”

[ergo reblog]

PUNCTUANIMALS!

Punctuation that looks like animals!

WOW! PUNCTUANIMALS! THAT SURE IS A WEIRD ZOO!

[reblog]

Ascot Gavotte

We march through black and white, we live in gray

Our movements so brilliantly timed we never collide.

We know the motions. We know our place.

Everyone here is supposed to be here.

A proscenium shot painted out in black and white.

Appearance means everything and everyone here is here.

We speak in unison, quick, concise and complacent,

Artificial and void of thought.

A clever cell, its bars are black and white.

Our suits are gray, artificial and void of thought.

We think as instructed, imprisoning ourselves,

Individuality a nuisance that none of us can afford.

And all we see is black and white,

Splashes of color none of us can afford.

We know the paths, the course has been set,

So brilliantly timed we never collide.

[reblog]

We have to help ourselves before we save the world.  Thus, I begin by doing my part to assist you with life’s little problems before you tackle the bigger ones.

PLACES YOUR KEYS MIGHT BE

In the drawer with all the thumbtacks.

In your purse.

Sorry, I mean your manbag.  You’re so sensitive.

Did you check the bathroom?

Well, you might have left it there while you were taking a dump this morning.

What?! You act like you’re scared people will find out you poop.

By the sink.

Under the pillow.

For the Toyota Fairy, Mr. Smart Alec. I don’t know.  Jeez, I’m just trying to think outside the box.

Did you look by your computer?

On the bookshelf behind your computer?

Inside your computer?

Why are you making that face?

On your bedside table?

In your pants pocket?

Under those papers over there?

On the key rack?

How about the car?

It’s possible!

You’re being snarky.  What?

How about up your butt? They might be there.

You’re making that face again.

…

So…they were on your lanyard, hanging around your neck. I should feel stupid right now, but I’m going to let you do that.

In the fall of 2007, not long after graduating from Coker College, Nick Hilbourn, Donald Quist, and Justin Johnson were the driving force behind the upstart Ergo Magazine.  Focused on blurring the line between the high and pop cultures, Ergo Magazine amassed a modest following through three print issues over 6 months. 

As funds ran out, the print life of the magazine followed suit.  In May 2009, Ergo Magazine resurfaced as Ergo Magazine Online, a blog that would allow the guys to write freely without the costs of printing.  Each month, a new theme would present a new challenge to the editors, and they would set out writing articles that would tie to that theme.  As the guys continued to settle into the real world, a monthly magazine proved to be a bit too much of an obligation, coupled with their full-time jobs, relationships, and hobbies.  May 2010 is the final issue of Ergo Magazine Online.

Which brings us to The Ergonomicon.  Justin, Donnie, and Nick are constantly embroiled in the creative process.  The Ergonomicon will compile the works of these three, either as original Ergo creations or reblogs from their respective sites.  Please enjoy.